Best Because it's True

Today I ate a lot of pumpkin.

I was one of three judges at a pumpkin recipe contest held by work, as a part of the Thanksgiving festivities. Saying I'm "gainfully employed" doesn't even scratch the surface of my current situation. Soon I'll be regaling you with the horror stories of getting my master's in engineering, but for now: punch and pie.

After this meal, we took a side-trip to play laser tag. We were discussing fun activities, such as going to Sky High, and the conversation flowed into something like this:

ME: You know, we should go to Sky High right now.

CHRIS: Do you know where it is?

ME: No.

KRISTEN: Me neither.

DAVE: There's other stuff to do.

ME: Laser tag?

KRISTEN: Yes.

CHRIS: It's already one o'clock.

ME: Let's be honest, we're all going to go back and take a little nap in our offices.

DAVE: We just ate a lot of carbs.

ME: We need to burn that energy off. And that increased blood flow will help us think.

There is more plotted for next Wednesday. This job is incredible.

Also, I'm going to narrate a story my friend related to me. He's striving to be a high school English teacher, the poor bastard. At least it's a sight better than the prospects of working in a camera store until he dies. I'm doing it in first person because I fucking feel like it. Just note that the story is absolutely true in its retelling, down to bits and pieces from the internal monologue. We discuss things in this manner.

---

"Reaction formation."

I sighed, staring at the students. None of them gave a damn. Honors kids, supposedly, but too many of them were shoved through by parents thinking their child was the next Ramanujan. The reference would be beyond them. Let's go with 'Doogie Howser.' I just want to send letters home to all of them simply saying "Not everyone grows up to be an astronaut."

"It's when you take something traumatic in your life, and turn it around and make it a part of your character." I could be silent for the next ten minutes and none of them would notice. "Say, for instance..."

Ah, shit. I hadn't gotten to this point. Figured it would just come to me. "Say for instance, you get mugged by a guy wearing green." Yeah. That was good. "And then you just start wearing green, obsessively. Get it?"

There was a soft murmur from the back of the room.

"What was that?" Challenge of authority or genuine participation? Probably the former but worth a look. "Could you speak up?"

The student looked away and responded quietly. "Like Batman?"

Fuck yes.